He wants me to let go. Let go of what? Everything! I have struggled with this for over a month now. My inability(or should I say unwillingness) to let go is what has taken me backward in my journey with God. I don't know how to let go. And to be honest, I don't know that I want to. But I want to want to. Does that make sense?
He told me in late December that I didn't have to understand everything. So I stopped asking Him why all the time. I realized that if He wanted me to know, He would tell me. What I didn't realize is that this was just the beginning of the letting go process. I guess I was hoping that was it. Of course I was! I am a former control freak! And I find the longer I cling to the things of this world, the more I revert back into controlling my own life. I don't like it! I don't want to be in control again. I messed it up royally the first time. But how do I finish letting go?
He gave me the answer to that yesterday as I was talking with my pastor. I have to stop analyzing everything. As I let it soak in, He showed me that I analyze myself more than anything else. I was willing to let go of analyzing everyone and everything else, just not me. And the longer I put off letting go, the more I go back into old habits. Old habits suck!
So here's the thing...let go or drown. Last Wednesday, I took His hand and started walking on water with Him. On Friday, I let go of His hand, picked up the things of this world, and started treading water. I can still look up and see Him, but if I don't let go, I will soon drown. I can only hold my breath for so long. If I don't let go, I will be conformed to the things of this world. That is not what I want at all.
I choose to let go. I choose to give Him my mind and let Him transform it. He has shown me how to start, and I know that as I obey, He will show me how to continue. This too was won on the cross. Thank you Jesus! So the journey of letting go continues. As it turns out, I am willing when my only other option is drowning. And I don't want to be conformed to the things of this world. I want to be transformed by the renewing of my mind. I give you my mind, Lord. I choose You.
Sunday, February 28, 2010
Wednesday, February 24, 2010
Shipwrecked
Do you ever feel like the enemy has unleashed all of hell to keep you from pressing on toward the mark? Well, me too. Everything around me is mocking me, telling me I have it wrong, or I wont make it. But every bible study, devotional, book or sermon I turn to tells me to BELIEVE. Believe what? Well, He answered that for me today.
Recently He has shown me that the season I have been in is over. He called me to get into the boat and go to the other side(the new season). Well, I need a new level of faith before I can get to the other side, becuase the demons controlling my future are bigger than anything I have ever seen before. The great news is He who is in me is greater than those demons. All I have to do, is let go of me and accept the new level of faith. DUH! Why isn't that as easy as it sounds? Is anyone realting?
So as it turns about, because I have refused to accept my new level of faith, my boat has shipwrecked(think Paul in Acts 28). But like Paul, I must not quit, because I have a promise; I have a destiny. So now I must swim, and as the waves come crashing over my head, I will say "I believe God's promise. I will make it. I have a destiny."
About the time that I let go of me and told Him I was ready, that I can swim and I am ready and willing to keep going, He showed me that I don't have to swim at all. If I swim to the other side I will be exhausted and wet when I get there. He wants me to be dry and well rested.
What am I to do you ask? All I have to do is look up from the water. Jesus is holding His hand out. When I take it, and keep my eyes on Him, I can walk with Him to the other side! Praise God! Hallelujah!
So here I go. I took His hand and I am currently walking on water! I am keeping my eyes on Him(because we all know what happens if I don't), and I am BELIEVING, for what, I still do not know. But I am sure that His will for my life is so much more than I could ever hope for. So I trust Him and I believe.
And what about the mockers from hell? Well they are still there, but I am choosing not to listen to them, because I know how there story ends. They may think they can change my destiny, but they better think again. This chic is going to rise to all that He has for me baby! And she is going to do it with the grace and favor of the Lord upon her!
Now I urge you, dont't wait until your boat crashes. Go ahead and take His hand and walk with us to the other side my friends. I love you all, now come and join us!
Recently He has shown me that the season I have been in is over. He called me to get into the boat and go to the other side(the new season). Well, I need a new level of faith before I can get to the other side, becuase the demons controlling my future are bigger than anything I have ever seen before. The great news is He who is in me is greater than those demons. All I have to do, is let go of me and accept the new level of faith. DUH! Why isn't that as easy as it sounds? Is anyone realting?
So as it turns about, because I have refused to accept my new level of faith, my boat has shipwrecked(think Paul in Acts 28). But like Paul, I must not quit, because I have a promise; I have a destiny. So now I must swim, and as the waves come crashing over my head, I will say "I believe God's promise. I will make it. I have a destiny."
About the time that I let go of me and told Him I was ready, that I can swim and I am ready and willing to keep going, He showed me that I don't have to swim at all. If I swim to the other side I will be exhausted and wet when I get there. He wants me to be dry and well rested.
What am I to do you ask? All I have to do is look up from the water. Jesus is holding His hand out. When I take it, and keep my eyes on Him, I can walk with Him to the other side! Praise God! Hallelujah!
So here I go. I took His hand and I am currently walking on water! I am keeping my eyes on Him(because we all know what happens if I don't), and I am BELIEVING, for what, I still do not know. But I am sure that His will for my life is so much more than I could ever hope for. So I trust Him and I believe.
And what about the mockers from hell? Well they are still there, but I am choosing not to listen to them, because I know how there story ends. They may think they can change my destiny, but they better think again. This chic is going to rise to all that He has for me baby! And she is going to do it with the grace and favor of the Lord upon her!
Now I urge you, dont't wait until your boat crashes. Go ahead and take His hand and walk with us to the other side my friends. I love you all, now come and join us!
Tuesday, February 23, 2010
Its all about Him
I am starting a daily quest for His face. I have come to realize that when I keep my focus totally on God, I operate in the heavenly and supernatural realm, instead of the things of this world. Recently, I have become caught up in the things that this world has to offer me again, and I don't like it. So, prompted by the Holy Spirit, I am blogging about seeking Him first and foremost in my life. I am putting off the things of this world, and putting on the full armor of God. This will be a wonderful process where there will be lots of flesh dying. Oh, that I might know Him more! It will be a journey worth traveling.
My committment is this: I will obey the Holy Spirit in everything. When He says jump, I will jump. I will not question Him in the things that He is telling me to do(those of you who know me know this is hard for me, because I have to know/understand everything). I will allow His grace and favor to flow in my life. I am on a mission to awaken the Lord and see His glorious face. I will be learning to keep my focus totally on God, even when everything around me is screaming my name(think Elisha keeping his focus on Elijah even with a chariot of fire beckoning him). Instead of focusing on the miraculous things that God is doing in my life, I choose to focus totally on Him. I want more of Him, and He is showing me how to get it. I only have to obey! Obedience is the key. He is not free to work in my life without it.
So, I will be blogging my journey as an act of obedience and to keep me accountable(He is teaching me how to be consistent). I urge you to join me in this journey. It will change your life!
My committment is this: I will obey the Holy Spirit in everything. When He says jump, I will jump. I will not question Him in the things that He is telling me to do(those of you who know me know this is hard for me, because I have to know/understand everything). I will allow His grace and favor to flow in my life. I am on a mission to awaken the Lord and see His glorious face. I will be learning to keep my focus totally on God, even when everything around me is screaming my name(think Elisha keeping his focus on Elijah even with a chariot of fire beckoning him). Instead of focusing on the miraculous things that God is doing in my life, I choose to focus totally on Him. I want more of Him, and He is showing me how to get it. I only have to obey! Obedience is the key. He is not free to work in my life without it.
So, I will be blogging my journey as an act of obedience and to keep me accountable(He is teaching me how to be consistent). I urge you to join me in this journey. It will change your life!
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