Fear Not

It really hurts to watch the people you love hurt themselves, knowing there is nothing you can do about it. You know there is nothing you can say, do or hit them with that will make them see that their pain is because of their own choices. It just hurts. If it hurts me this much, I cannot imagine how much it hurts Father God. Before I went down this though process, I cannot honestly say I had ever thought about how much my diobedience hurt Him. I knew it hurt those around me, and I even came to the realization of how much it hurt me, but I never really thought about Him.

He has shown me that my diobedience ties His hands. When I refuse to obey, I block Him from working in my life. The sad thing is, sometimes I do this even though I know better. Sometimes, I flat out rebel. Rebel, according to Webster, means to resist authority or control, to show or feel a resistance to something. Well, now, that is not letting go is it?

Then He showed me that I rebel because of fear. I am living in fear. Fear that He will not do what He says He will do. Fear that I am not who He says I am. I am not letting go because I don't trust Him to take care of things, and I don't trust me not to mess them up. There are 365 "fear not"s in the bible;one for every day. You would think that would be enough for me. I can tell you they are there, but I cannot tell you where they all are or what they say not to be afraid of. So I think I will start studying them. Hopefully I can gain more revelation on how to let go.

By the way, walking through one day of totally letting go started out fun and ended up in tears. But it is still fun, because I know how it will end. It will end with Him in control, and me in complete freedom. Glory to His Name! Yahweh Nissi, my God of Victory!